Archive for November, 2011

After the interview, Larry The Cable Guy stripped down to his bloomers and streaked around the CBS set, for reasons currently unknown.

Duke Savage

Spunky Puddle, Ohio


Americans were left staggered this week after a 60 Minutes interview with famed redneck, Larry The Cable Guy, revealed that the 48 year-old “actor” is actually mentally slow and not funny. 60 Minutes commentator Bob Simon told this reporter “At the beginning of the interview I was optimistic. I’d seen his movies and thought there might be a spark of brilliance. After about five minutes passed however, I knew the truth.” Larry’s profane incompetence was revealed when Simon stumped him with the question “What was your inspiration for your role in the Cars movies?” The interview had to be edited for time due to Mr. Cable Guy’s inability to grasp the word inspiration. “That was just a good ole low blow by that Simon’s feller” Larry said, “I mean who comes outta the wild blue yonder with such big time words as ‘inspirmnation’ or whatever the hell it was.” Although Mr. Cable Guy’s secret has been revealed, he will no doubt continue to fool the American public and make over $30 million a year. The first red flag for Americans should have been his “catch phrase” Get’r Done but in typical American fashion, we laughed cause it didn’t make sense. For $30 million a year, who cares, keep gettin’r done Larry.