Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

Fittingly, Pepe the roaming Mexican street dog, resembles a lion. Although Pepe the king of the Mexican Jungle smells like shit, he doesn't take any from anybody

Duke Savage

Mexico City, Mexico

After an ever growing concern that the long time national animal, the Xoloitzcuintli (a breed of hairless ankle biting dog), was too specific of breed to represent a country who’s reputation for roaming homeless dogs is second to none. Ramon Juarez Dominguez was quoted as saying “Who the hell likes those hairless cabrons anyway?” Cabron of course being a Spanish adjective describing the unique finish of early 17th century wooden furniture. To set the masses’ mind at ease, the Mexican government has set forth a plan to make the generic ill-scented mutts that roam the unpaved streets of most Mexican towns. Although Maria Gonzales Perez, 27 from Leon, Guanajuato, is not quite as optimistic as her fellow Spanish speaking countrymen. “What’s to stop this dog from becoming equally as cocky as the Xoloitzcuintli?” Gonzales has a significant point. The Xoloitzcuintli was known for throwing lavish doggy parties at his four story dog palace in downtown Mexico City. These parties were famous for having the most extravagant dog chow that only come with being a national icon. The American’s Bald Eagle, who has been known himself for flying around with a “chip on his wing” even finds the Xoloitzcuintli’s actions somewhat conceded. “He can’t fly, he doesn’t have a loud bark and I could personally whoop his ass.” This could be perceived as keeping in line with the American “superiority complex” but as we all know, it’s GOD DAMN TRUE! Representatives for the homeless roaming dog commonly known as Pepe, said “Pepe is very enthusiastic about his new role as the Mexican national animal. He is aware of the stresses that can be associated with such a task but is actively working on his stench and taking all of the precautionary steps to rid himself of this stereotype.”

All this reporter can say is regardless of the undeniable adorable factor that Pepe portrays, the fact that he gives off a stench that can not be quantified or justified by any witty comparison this world has to offer. I would advise any reader pondering a trip to the land of cheap tequila and more chotskies than the best American theme park, prepare yourself for the stench of these famously pungent creatures by sniffing cat dung daily for the two weeks preceding your departure. Until next time,  ¡Viva La Pepe!