Posts Tagged ‘San Diego’

Professor LaRoy (third from left) pictured here at a super exclusive party in Southern California that doubled as a Bro Studies faculty meeting

Duke Savage

San Diego, CA

Do you love shirts with more glitter than a kindergarten girl’s art project, bottle service and hate conventional majors involving math and memorization? Or do you strive to be the 45 year old still attending or possibly owning that bar in your college town? A major in Bro Studies is right up your alley. After many inquisitions about the incorporation of the “clubbin'” life style into the college curriculum, a certain university in San Diego has thrown their ambitions to the wind and has given in. “What’s the harm in giving the people what they want? If they want to learn how to ‘bro out’, who are we to deprive them of that dream?” University president Jefferey O’Connell told the Cucumber Periodicals last week. O’Connell added, “Although this major seems to be a complete frodulant use of tuition money and school resources, we are preparing our students for a better quality of night life that they can take with them forever.” Some of the core classes include:

Bro 101- Intro to “Bro-ology”

Bro 105- Beginning Pick-up lines

Bro 245- Fist Pumping and Stationary Dance Moves

Bro 300- Beach Muscles: Bi’s, Tri’s and Abs

Bro 310- Intro To Home T-Shirt Bedazzlement

Bro 400- Independent Bro Studies (one of the more popular courses)

Bro 450- Advanced Getting “Ready” (fondly known as T-Shirt time)

After the announcement was made early this week, students lined up at the Registrar ‘s office to register for classes. Only around 15 hours passed until somebody bothered to inform the crazed mass that the major wasn’t going to be offered for another two years and they were waiting for no reason. Steve “Stevie-J” Jaconski was overheard shouting to his bro “This shit is off the hizzy hizz-ook bruh. Wanna go tan while we wait?” Mr. Jaconski was immediately approached by department head and prevalent techno concert promoter Professor Johnny LaRoy PhD and offered a part time teaching position. Regardless of your bro status, size of your bedazzled t-shirt collection or desire to fist pump the night away, these trailblazing bros are willing to show you the light. After all, life is a big party let’s get another bottle of Goose.